the ethics of intuition

For over half of my life, I have been fascinated and grateful for the gifts of the esoteric and metaphysical playground available to us these days. Healing is so multidimensional and personal. Throughout my time exploring a multitude of modalities (made available to me by the privilege of having a family who believed in holistic healing and helped me pay for it so I could heal) – I have come to see a worrying trend in the “spiritual” and even psychological realms. The trend is unethical practice of what could be a very effective modality.

This article is an attempt to share what I feel is damaging, and what I hope for, in terms of the ethical dimension of encountering holistic healers, “psychics,” bodyworkers, ashrams, psychotherapists, shamans, yoga, meditation centers, and anything under the umbrella of wellness. Due to the history of persecution for herbalists (witches), midwives, or anyone who worked with the spirits of nature – even talking about this can feel taboo! However, I think it’s time we all put on our big person panties and have an honest discussion about what needs to end. Old paradigms of power and systemic oppression are shifting collectively, and the healing arts is no exception.

Through sharing several case studies of my personal, subjective experiences, I hope to open a greater conversation of the perils and risks of undertaking any kind of healing work – and how to mitigate this risk by discerning who is legitimately working with the energies of positivity, love, respect, and in the greater good of humanity. Have you ever felt harmed by a healer? Have you ever witnessed unethical behavior and abuse of power in spiritual work? It is a journey towards greater discernment, wisdom, grace, forgiveness, and peace for me.

Working in a field with little to no regulation requires honesty, integrity, and strength in deciding how to proceed during ethical dilemmas.

Unsavory experiences with so called healers, teachers, “masters,” experts, fake shamans, false gurus, overly inflated spiritual egos, fame-seeking people, or cult leaders experiences are not new. We have heard and seen plenty of tell-all memoirs about the abuses, scandals, and misdemeanors of spiritual teachers and incorrect thinking that has permeated spiritual cults and supposed healers. I firmly stand for us all to develop our critical thinking skills and stay connected to our own inner wisdom, first. Yes, no one is perfect. This does not mean we need to be afraid of people abusing their power. It means we need to be aware, vigilant, and observational when a teacher, leader, healer, or philosopher of any kind acts in cruel or mean ways. We have to strive towards improvement and excellence.

Some case studies I have witnessed personally:

- A registered clinical counsellor finding a young adult client in hospital during a crisis and immediately kissing their client on the lips, then proceeding to charge the client’s family thousands of dollars to “help” them through said crisis

- Facilitators shaming clients in person about their sexuality or their character flaws in front of a group

- People channelling blindly and without guidance or adequate understanding if they are bringing through less than savoury or less than loving energies – a lack of discernment when channelling

- A lack of closure practice in Constellation work, leaving people with physical symptoms such as lack of sleep, migraines, and physical illness and then blaming clients for being sick without taking responsibility for their part in causing it

- “A Master Healer and Teacher” attempting to sue a client after they choose to leave a year long program, the client had paid for the time they had attended, the teacher did not deliver on the promises given at the beginning. The teacher took legal action to threaten the client to pay the remaining $4000 of unattended and unclear instruction, and refused to operate their business in a legal way and be compliant with the PCTA (which they were required to do due to the nature of their program). This “Master Teacher and Healer” acted in a coercive, forceful, demanding way without acknowledging that people have free will and without having a clear set of policies beforehand

- Counsellors threatening clients that if they don’t continue therapy they will suffer

- A man starting a cult by calling himself a “Living Master” in another country and convincing vulnerable people to leave their savings and life estates to him while everyone works for free to build him a mansion and women follow him around putting on his clothes, attending to his every need and putting on his shoes (and probably offering other “services” in private)

Ultimately all of these examples are about an abuse of power. We can clearly see old outdated dynamics of power over, domination, and subjugation without awareness. There is a lack of both personal and social consciousness. There is a lack of integration with wide circles and communities. There is a lack of accountability and honesty. These examples often entail the perils of spiritual ego. We need to prioritize ethical standards personally (even if they are not official) in the healing and intuitive fields – especially because we are unregulated.

Overall, these are my guiding ethical questions before I decided to learn with, heal with, or connect with a colleague, teacher, or healer, in the wellness and spiritual world:

1) Are they kind? Do I generally feel safe around them? Do they respect safeguarding, physical well-being, healthy boundaries, and social behavior that generally promote a peaceful constitution?

2) Do they walk their talk? Have they learned from a diverse range of Sources and do they openly acknowledge where their information and skills are coming from?

3) Do they have clear financial guidelines and fiscal responsibility? Is this good value for my money?

4) Do they have adequate experience that is diverse and clearly defined qualifications on their website? Do they have believable testimonials? Are they willing to answer questions directly, honestly, and completely?

5) Can they receive and give feedback with basic human respect and not be defensive?

6) Do they encourage critical thinking?

7) Do they take an extreme approach to work? Do they discuss healthy boundaries, their values, their ethical framework, and their mission and vision?

8) Do their participants report having problems sleeping, eating, or in basic functioning after encountering them? Are the teachings grounded in shared reality?

9) Is there a felt sense of relative safety in the room as a community? Do they honour difference?

10) Do they keep good records? Do they comply with government policies such as doing their taxes, etc?

11) Is there acknowledgement of mistakes and attempts to remedy it? Can they accept feedback with grace?

12) Can they apologize for a poorly reviewed experience? Can they take steps to improve? Can they accept that not everyone is going to resonate with their work?

13) Do I leave their session or intensive feeling better and lighter and more myself?

14) Do I feel freer around them? Or more restricted?

15) Do they guide me back to my own inner knowing?

16) Are they good balance of gentle and firm when they have to be? Can they successfully communicate without yelling or threatening others? Are they HUMBLE?

17) Do they need flashy lights, fame, and are they searching for ways to be “all powerful” and “Change the World?” = tell tale sign of inflated spiritual ego

18) Are they a supposed “Master” “Pioneer” “Incredible Expert” making ridiculous unfounded claims or do they have the humility to admit they are also constantly learning and fully human with a shadow?

19) Have they looked at their shadow? Do they own up to their humanness and can they admit when they are mistaken? Are they willing to listen? Are they polite?

20) Are they generous and hospitable in their healing space? Do they consider peoples’ physiological wellbeing? Do they blame people for their physical illness or do they attend to their physical needs? Do they often blame other people, systems, places, circumstances, for their own suffering?

21) Do they consistently work on their own personal journey and receive from others? Are they interested in improving? Do they try their best to show up and be present and listen when necessary?

22) Are they someone I would want to share a tea or a meal with? Are they decent? Do they respect the client’s energetic, physical, emotional, and sexual boundaries? Do they seek to dehumanize or “cut people down” in the name of so called enlightenment or healing? Are they violent in words or actions?

Here are my current professional ethical guidelines (acknowledging that this is an ever-evolving journey):

- I maintain confidentiality.

- I believe in consent and actively seek it. I respect each person’s autonomy. I respect people’s boundaries around their bodies and minds and energy fields.

- I am informed by trauma-aware protocol.

- I believe in the wisdom of each person’s body/mind/heart/soul.

- I believe that healing happens collectively and individually.

- I believe we are all part of a Greater Web of Knowing.

- I believe all people are inherently equal in their worth and their Inner Light.

- I refer and seek out additional support or offer alternatives when I cannot assist someone.

- I am clear and professional in my financial transactions, deadlines, and policies. I show up with integrity and commitment.

- I cite my Sources as much as possible and admit when I don’t know something.

- I strive to be culturally sensitive and socially responsible.

- I communicate as honestly and kindly as possible.

- I see all human beings, including myself, as imperfectly perfect and on a learning journey unique to our soul’s mission.

- I practice humility, I do not have it “all” figured out.

- I am willing to hear and give back feedback gracefully as much as possible.

- I believe in diversity.

- I am accountable to my mistakes and seek to remediate whenever and wherever possible.

- I maintain a strict code of conduct around emotional, physical, and sexual boundaries and the sanctity of each working relationship (no bullying, no coercion, no domination) and communicate clearly when there is an issue that needs to be sorted.

- I actively use tools of compassionate communication and other modalities in how I address and alchemize conflict.

- As an intuitive, I do not provide timings, information around death, medical advice, financial advice, or take sides during a conflict.

- I acknowledge I am not a medical professional, legal professional, or a registered psychologist and that my services do not replace or exclude the help of other professionals.

- I believe in holistic, complementary, integrative, and culturally sensitive care whenever and wherever possible.

Ultimately there are too many fake shamans and false prophets out there. These people present an illusion of wellness but are deeply sick inside. Do not fall for these promises. Trust people with a balance of mind and heart and body. Trust the evidence. Trust the measurable results. Trust your own inner compass. I was raised in a Sikh family, and while I do not associate with any religion – this teaching I hold to be very clear and it comes from my ancestors, “Be honest in your work and financial dealings, see us as all connected to the same Oneness, find your refuge in a higher power, live simple, think high.” At the end of the day, honesty without kindness can be dangerous. Kindness without honesty can lead to naivete. Choose the middle path of wise discernment and trust your own gut about who to learn from. Follow the happy people, the ones that giggle, that radiate, that feel good to your wise body and nervous system, that don’t need the fancy accolades of positive validation – trust the people that consistently show up with kindness, clarity, messy humanity, and peace.

Most of all, trust your own nervous system. Pay attention to if your root tightens around someone or something. Do you feel like you can relax and let go? Or are you on edge? Trust the nonverbal signals as much as the verbal ones. Relaxation via somatic awareness is perhaps our best indicator for alignment.

I try to see everyone as God/dess in drag. We are all “walking each other home,” as Ram Dass said. In the end, we will all meet at the same ocean. We are one humanity with an unfathomable amount of diversity and in the end, we will reap what we sow. We have choices about the impact we make in this world and our words, as much as our actions, count. I am learning to choose wisely and trust in the bigger picture when I make a mistake. We all make mistakes at times and we are all learning. This does not excuse poor behavior. As we owe up to our mistakes, we create new possibilities and avenues for a better world, forgiveness is healing, for ourselves and others. Real Love to me is rooted in fierce protection of what is good, whole, holy, sacred, respectful, patient, and kind. If someone acts in a way that causes harm, and refuses to admit it, they are abusing power.

As Jimi Hendrix famously wrote, “when the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.” May we be the ones that bring peace.